Recognize it when it hits you

How come we have such strong self-preservation mechanisms? Instinctively, they are there to ensure our survival.

Ever been hurt? Physically or emotionally, the same forces go to work. We may have learnt the mechanisms already when young: run to mamá. More detrimental ways are learnt later on: Escape to liquor, or any other addictive substance. Even food can become a problem.

My mechanism was once more initiated: stomach cramps. My digestion shuts down, I expect all the blood runs to my brains, I freeze, and try to think. Rationalize my way out of it. When young, I had these cramps on stage when trying to play the piano. It wasn’t a successful way to cope, since my fingers nearly froze as well. Later on, this was the feeling I got when getting hurt by a special someone. It worked better there. However, in this adult life, I wanted never to experience it again.

Still, an old mechanism is initiated, unwanted and totally taking me by surprise. A tiny thing, a person from the past, a figure of speech, or no speaking for that matter, may trigger the unpleasant feeling from deep down.

I laugh at myself, look around me, and realize. It’s ok. No one is hurting you. It is just a safety measure your body reluctantly initiates in response to some fight or flight-hormones working. You need to take a breath and relax. Let your body know you are in charge now. The past is the past, and your body can hopefully learn it too. With time.

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